I dedicate this blog to you, from my soul to yours.
Last night I was writing about connecting soul to soul. My whole life I have asked my friends and family, what is one thing everyone wants? I got answers of material things and money. I am sure that everyone would love to have nice things but money wasn't the answer I was looking for. Never in that time did I hear "love" or "connection". As I sit and think to myself I wonder, do we want love and connection? Are there people out there who don't look for that? I am sure there are many people out there who are hurting and don't know how to let love back in. I know there are people out there who are filled with it.
In my life I am looking for the soul connection and the deepest love possible. I am talking about the love that makes your heart ache, even to say goodbye for a couple hours. I want the love that gives me butterflies every time I see that person. We all deserve that kind of love. I know in my heart I have found that love. I am trying to understand why this love is still here in my heart, when I am told its "not meant to be". I believe it is meant to be, maybe not how I think it should look or when it should happen. I know it is meant to be in its own unique way.
Everyday I wake up, the first thing I do is roll over to see if he is there. He is not. Every night when I go to bed he is the last thing on my mind and he is in my dreams every night. It is hard for me to go to sleep, once I am asleep I don't want to wake up. Right now my life is hard for me to understand, so I decided I am going to do my best to let it be. I am going to keep moving forward everyday, whatever happens.. happens. I am accepting the fact that I can only control so much, what I can not control I leave to the universe. This makes my life a lot easier. Yes, I have my moments of panic and sadness still, the only difference is I accept them and then let it go. If the love we have is "meant to be" It will work its self out. If it is not meant to be then I will work myself out. That is the beauty of life.
I know inside my heart that I can connect with him in a very deep way. I also know that there was a block there. I believe if I was open with him, instead of closed our lives would have been very different. I know that if I could have expressed my deepest most feelings with him that life would have been a lot easier. I could never understand why he did what he did, now I do. This is a part of why I am on this journey.
I wanted to be open and honest. I wanted to be able to connect with everyone around me on a much deeper level. I was thinking what would be the best way to put myself out "there". I wrote this blog, now I am here. As you can see... my feelings, emotions and story is out in the open for you to observe. I thought to myself, why would I want to reveal everything that's "wrong" in my life. Then I quickly discovered.. Everything in my life is in perfect order, that means nothing is "wrong" with it. I no longer want to sugar coat my life. This is my life and it is beautiful! Everything here is the truth, everything here is sacred to me. I am open and honest.
I am not looking for that deep connection... I have found that deep connection. I have found a way to connect soul to soul. How did I do it you ask? By being myself with no judgments and by being honest in all aspects of my life. I am on a journey to find a way to connect with myself. So far I am doing amazing! I know myself and I am comfortable in my own skin, finally! I can feel the peace; I can see the beauty in my eyes and feel the breath of life in my soul. For the first time ever I am comfortable being me. I am no longer afraid of what anyone thinks because it doesn't matter. I am confident in everything I do because I listen to my heart. If it doesn't feel right or I wonder about it, I don't do it. I am choosing it to be very simple.
To find that connection with another being, you have to first find it with yourself. This leads me to this quote. “When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another - and ourselves”- Jack Kornfield
I ask you to do something for yourself tonight or tomorrow. Do something that will connect you to your soul. Here are a few ideas; service, singing and dancing, buy yourself some flowers, go to church, a walk on the beach with a glass of wine or even a bubble bath. Once you do that and feel that peace within your soul, invite your loved one or a loved one(s) and share the experience. Recognize the peace and love you will find. Hold on to that feeling, who says you have to let it go? Loose yourself in that feeling, it is amazing.
I love you very much! Have an amazing night! I am off to treat myself to a long hot shower! I got to connect with my sister, a dear friend and a new friend today at the lake. I get to go wash my sand out of my hair so I can go dancing :))
What a beautiful life!!
Until tomorrow!!
I love you!
Julie <3
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