Today at work I had an interesting experience. First off I got called in and thought it would ruin my blog. Tonight It actually made my blog.
One of our guests checked in with her best friend (who is also her ex husband.) She came up to the desk and started to ask me questions. The first question she asked me was. "When did you move?" I looked at her and said "what" she then asked me"how long were you with him"? By this point I had to check my shirt and forehead to see if I had something written on me stating... "Just moved... Broke up with my fiance of two (ish) years".
Dam! This lady was unreal, like freaky unreal!
After having my moment, I responded to her. I moved about 2.5 weeks ago and I was with him for two years and a couple months. She then proceeded to ask me, "Why are you here in Mt Shasta?" I responded by saying, I am supposed to be here and that's all I know. For this she applauded me. She reminded me that everything happens for a reason and to listen to my intuition. At this point I was floored! I wanted to say this was really weird but it wasn't, it was exactly what I was looking for. When I am uncertain about something in my life, I simply for a confirmation or answer. She confirmed my answer.
Lately I have been feeling uneasy. I was wondering if I made the right choice even though I know I did. I was having my moment of self doubt. Now I am 1000% sure this is where I get to be for right now, it is nice to have a little reminder every so often. :) I know that I get to be here for a couple months, I am positive of it. I know I am here to learn and grow. I don't feel I would learn as much if I didn't push myself to listen to my heart.
After that we continued to talk for about 30 minutes. She told me how her and her best friend broke up, she also told me how they never fell out of love. I told her in my case I was certain that I loved him and that I always will. I don't feel like I will ever fall out of love with him, there is so much love there. As we talked she told me her view on relationships. She said the beautiful thing about a relationship is that it doesn't have to look a certain way. You can have it however you want it to be. I agree with her 1000%. She said that her and her best friend talk all the time. They work out times to see each other and go on vacations together. They do the occasional lunch and fine dinners too. Their relationship is very "not typical", I really like that idea. Right now they are committing to not commit. By this I mean they are choosing to be together at a distance and not rushing into anything.
In my relationship, I want someone who is there all the time just at a bit of a distance at first. As time goes on we would move closer together in the relationship. After a while we would evaluate and decide where to go from there. I am not looking to move into a quick relationship with kids and a dog anytime soon. Someday I want to be a mom and be married to the most perfect husband and partner. I would like us to work from home so we can raise our children together, that is my ideal lifestyle. For the time being, I am in the perfect place. I told her that right now our space and time alone is perfect. If we decided to see each other then we will when it is right. That is perfect for now!
Right now I am focusing on finding and loving me. Another thing I learned from her is that relationships need a healthy and constant give and take. I know that I personally get to work on this. I get to work on accepting when I am given something and giving freely without expectations. In a relationship each person has to put in 100%. When this is not being done there is an unhealthy give and take.
I am excited to have this opportunity to find my healthy balance and also establish my guidelines. The next couple months of my life are going to be perfect. I have so many things to learn!!
I know by taking this time and learning what I get to learn, my life will be very different for the rest of my life. I am working on myself as well as how I treat others and allow others to treat me. I am setting my guidelines of what I accept in a relationship and what I do not accept. I am quickly figuring out what I want in a relationship and what I don't want. All of this is healthy and necessary. Every day I learn a lot of new things. I am thankful that I am learning and I will use this knowledge for the best possible outcome.
Until tomorrow!
Much love!! Goodnight!!
Julie
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