The past six months of my life have been the hardest so far. I felt emotions that I never knew existed , for that I am so grateful. I have learned so many life lessons and with that knowledge I am going to keep moving forward. I have amazing friends and family that have stayed by my side through it all, I have also had many walk away. I have been completely honest in everything I have done and that I am doing In life. With that honesty relationships have shattered and other have grown stronger. Everything happens for a reason, whether we like that reason or not, trust that reason.
In the next coming months, my life is going to drastically change again and I am so excited! I will be moving to a new city, starting school and working on my business. In my free time I will be working with an amazing friend and eventually introducing my products into LA. I will also be working on fitness competitions and making time to travel. Will my business work, will it make a good amount of revenue, am I scared? YES to all three questions. The question is am I going to let fear hold me back? The answer is NO.
I lay in bed late at night and see it playing out in my head over and over again. I repeat positive affirmations to myself when I am feeling down. I have an enormous amount of drive and knowledge in my tiny little body. I am a very hard worker and I am resilient. With all of the qualities that I posses I know that I will succeed.
I look back at the past 6 months and I am so grateful. Without that experience in my life I don't know if I would be able to do what I am going to start doing. I am so grateful for everyone who put me down, hurt me, loved me and encouraged me. Each and every person had their effect on me. The more negative ones made me push myself harder to rise above and the positive ones encouraged me to keep going.
I have a lot to do in this world and I am going to do it. I thrive when I know I have used up all my life for the day. I thrive when I can see the difference I am making in this beautiful world. I thrive when I am in love with life, these are all things that I am doing and looking forward to.
I am going to take the next two months preparing myself mentally, physically and emotionally for the road ahead. I know I will have my good days and my not so good days and I am excited for both. I know that when I keep an open mind and trust what I feel is best I will reach my goals faster. My goals are what keeps me motivated. I am finding happiness in myself rather then others. To find true happiness you have to search with in, that is also where you will find true love. I get to love, respect and trust myself before I can really share that with anyone else. I feel like I am re-learning to walk for the third time and it is a beautiful experience.
I am going to keep blogging it is one way that keeps me focused and shows me my trail.
Until tomorrow.
Love Jules
Monday, October 31, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
My AMAZING Family (July 6th blog post)
One of the reasons I am up here is to spend some quality time with my family. This summer I look forward to making many memories with them. I have been away from my family for about 3 years, that is too long for me.
I don't ever want to look back on my life and regret that I didn't make the effort to go out and do things as a Family. I believe that families are the strength that keeps us going in life. While going through this break-up my Family and extended Family has pulled together and supported my in ways I could of only dreamed of. I would like to publicly thank each and every one of them.
We will start with my Mom and Dennis.
To my Parents,
You have stuck by my side through the good the bad and the very ugly times. In the past month you have supported me, carried me and shown me a new way of living. You are always here to comfort me as well as guide me on my new path. I really enjoy laying on your bed and talking about our day at the end of the night. I appreciate you two bring food to my work and make sure that I am eating. (I now weigh 110, that is amazing! I feel great) You have always been the ones I could fall back on. I am so grateful that I have you two amazing people in my life. Mom you tell me how it is and if I don't like it, I have the power to change it. Dennis you spend time with me when ever we are in the same place. We laugh so hard that we cry and cry so hard that we laugh. You have been such a joy to come home to! I love you Daddy :)
My parents are amazing! They have taught me how to love as well as crate my own abundance and calling fourth what I deserve.
Love Jube-Jube
My extended parents,
Thank you for supporting me through this transition. I appreciate your love and support you have unconditionally given me. I love you and your family and am looking forward to our next visit :)
I am sending my love your way! xoxo
Love Julie
To my Dad and Sandy,
Thank you for offering your hand to help me out in many ways. I appreciate knowing that I have your support in whatever I may choose. I enjoyed spending some time with you a couple days ago :) I hope you had a great visit and have fun with the kids this summer. I Love you both!
Muah!
Love Jules
To my beautiful sister Lindsay,
Thank you for sharing your room with me. I really appreciate you moving your own bed out of your room so we could fit the futon mattress on the floor so I would have a place to sleep. You have given me YOUR bed and YOUR room with out a second thought. I enjoyed the time we spent together this summer at the lake and giving you a new hair-do :) I love you little sis! You are an amazing sister and friend.
I love you so much little sister! You are one of my best friends! Love your Ju-bug. <3
To Cody,
Thank you for helping me move around all my boxes so I could have an easier life. i appreciate you helping me move the futon out so my bed could have a place to go. You are a fun kid to spend time with. I enjoy watching movies with you and listening to you talk about what you are learning. I love you Kiddo!
Love your big sis! <3
To Jesse,
Thank you for helping and reminding me to eat. You have made me food multiple times and sat down with me to eat. I enjoy spending time with you as well as breakfast lunch and dinner. Thank you for keeping and eye out for you big sis.
love you Jess. xoxo <3
To Paul,
Polly-wog you are a sweet heart. I enjoyed sitting on the couch talking about this new girl you like. It is really fun as a big sister to tell you how you should approach her. I enjoyed our laughs as well as trying to not mortify you on my suggestions to dating. You are growing up too quick! Slow down and enjoy life buddy! I love you! Your doing amazing in school, keep your focus! You are going amazing places lil' bro.
I sure love you sweetheart!
Love juju. <3
I don't ever want to look back on my life and regret that I didn't make the effort to go out and do things as a Family. I believe that families are the strength that keeps us going in life. While going through this break-up my Family and extended Family has pulled together and supported my in ways I could of only dreamed of. I would like to publicly thank each and every one of them.
We will start with my Mom and Dennis.
To my Parents,
You have stuck by my side through the good the bad and the very ugly times. In the past month you have supported me, carried me and shown me a new way of living. You are always here to comfort me as well as guide me on my new path. I really enjoy laying on your bed and talking about our day at the end of the night. I appreciate you two bring food to my work and make sure that I am eating. (I now weigh 110, that is amazing! I feel great) You have always been the ones I could fall back on. I am so grateful that I have you two amazing people in my life. Mom you tell me how it is and if I don't like it, I have the power to change it. Dennis you spend time with me when ever we are in the same place. We laugh so hard that we cry and cry so hard that we laugh. You have been such a joy to come home to! I love you Daddy :)
My parents are amazing! They have taught me how to love as well as crate my own abundance and calling fourth what I deserve.
Love Jube-Jube
My extended parents,
Thank you for supporting me through this transition. I appreciate your love and support you have unconditionally given me. I love you and your family and am looking forward to our next visit :)
I am sending my love your way! xoxo
Love Julie
To my Dad and Sandy,
Thank you for offering your hand to help me out in many ways. I appreciate knowing that I have your support in whatever I may choose. I enjoyed spending some time with you a couple days ago :) I hope you had a great visit and have fun with the kids this summer. I Love you both!
Muah!
Love Jules
To my beautiful sister Lindsay,
Thank you for sharing your room with me. I really appreciate you moving your own bed out of your room so we could fit the futon mattress on the floor so I would have a place to sleep. You have given me YOUR bed and YOUR room with out a second thought. I enjoyed the time we spent together this summer at the lake and giving you a new hair-do :) I love you little sis! You are an amazing sister and friend.
I love you so much little sister! You are one of my best friends! Love your Ju-bug. <3
To Cody,
Thank you for helping me move around all my boxes so I could have an easier life. i appreciate you helping me move the futon out so my bed could have a place to go. You are a fun kid to spend time with. I enjoy watching movies with you and listening to you talk about what you are learning. I love you Kiddo!
Love your big sis! <3
To Jesse,
Thank you for helping and reminding me to eat. You have made me food multiple times and sat down with me to eat. I enjoy spending time with you as well as breakfast lunch and dinner. Thank you for keeping and eye out for you big sis.
love you Jess. xoxo <3
To Paul,
Polly-wog you are a sweet heart. I enjoyed sitting on the couch talking about this new girl you like. It is really fun as a big sister to tell you how you should approach her. I enjoyed our laughs as well as trying to not mortify you on my suggestions to dating. You are growing up too quick! Slow down and enjoy life buddy! I love you! Your doing amazing in school, keep your focus! You are going amazing places lil' bro.
I sure love you sweetheart!
Love juju. <3
The Power of Creation (July 5th blog post)
Power of creation
As you know I currently have a goal of buying a bet set with in the next couple months. Here is my amazing story of how it came to be within a week and a half of setting my goal.
On my step dads and my day off, our family had planned to go to Medford for the day. On the way there we had to stop and cash my check as well as a few little errands. We stopped off in Yreka, a small little town that had a Wells Fargo in it. We pull up to the grocery store where the Wells Fargo is located. My mom and I walk up to the front desk and asked where the Wells Fargo is. The manager points at the "Wells Fargo" ATM. I could not cash my check at an ATM, and there was not another Wells Fargo for at least an hour and it was already 4:13pm. I was upset that I was going to Medford with no money in my account and we had been planning this for a week. My mom said, hurry let's get back on the road and try to make it in time. The next city with a Wells Fargo in it is Ashland Oregon. My mom googled directions and were off. As my mom navigates me through this adorable city, I am getting very nervous. She gently reminds me that it will all work out. As we get closer to the bank I am feeling a push to go faster. We pull up to the Wells Fargo and run inside to get in line. Once I am in front of the teller I hand her my check and tell her I would like to cash part and deposit the rest into my account. She tells me that she can not cash any of it and she can deposit it and it will be ready in 2 days. This is not an option for me. Once again I look at my mom, he says get in the car we will google the next bank, it is almost 5:00pm. I am also reminded the third times a charm!
My mom googles the next Wells Fargo, it is in Medford 11 miles away. I drove like a maniac to get there, but when we arrived it was after 5. We pull up to the Wells Fargo and the parking lot is empty, it is 5:15. I am upset that I am in Medford with no cash. I tell my mom that I just want to check and see if they are still open.
I grab my check and wallet and go straight for the doors. I pull on the doors and they open!! I am so excited! I walk inside and wait for the next teller. I talk to her for a couple minutes before I ask her what she can do for me. I told her that I had been to two banks before coming to her to get this cashed. I told her that I drove 90 miles to get this taken care of and that I was looking to put a deposit down on a bed. She said she would override her system ad cash my check and deposit a portion for me. This was amazing news! After she assisted me I walked out to the car with a huge smile on my face. Now that I had money it was time to enjoy some quality time with my family.
My little brother Cody and my step dad Dennis wanted to go to the movies. My mother goggled the movies they were .02 miles away. Once I drove into the parking lot I saw an Ashley furniture store straight ahead. That's where my bed set was!! After dropping the boys off, my mom and I headed straight for Ashley furniture. I walk inside and b-lined it for my bed set. I had got a couple quotes, all of them were close to 2,000. I went in with the power and intention that I would get it for half of that. Let's just say I got s really good deal. I got a upfront couple hundred dollars off, plus 15% for the fourth of July holiday and since I was in Oregon I paid no tax! My total amount was exactly what I had put out there. I put my 10% deposit down on the bed and did the happy dance with my mommy!! I was so excited!! Overall I saved about $1,500.00 on my bed. I put out there what bed I wanted and for what price the universe directed to to it and I got exactly what I wanted!!
I am learning the power of clear intentions and the law of attraction. It is an amazing feeling! We are powerful creators!! When I put out a clear intention of what I am calling fourth in my space and I surrender to the powers to be, Destiny/fate/the universe and serendipity take control of the situation and honor us. We are amazing and powerful creators!! I will have my bed set with in the next month!
After that I get to move on to a couch, tv, kitchen table and all the other fun things I get to put in my house! I am going to have about 50 happy boxes :))
Lets see what the universe and I can bring tomorrow :)
xoxo
Jules
As you know I currently have a goal of buying a bet set with in the next couple months. Here is my amazing story of how it came to be within a week and a half of setting my goal.
On my step dads and my day off, our family had planned to go to Medford for the day. On the way there we had to stop and cash my check as well as a few little errands. We stopped off in Yreka, a small little town that had a Wells Fargo in it. We pull up to the grocery store where the Wells Fargo is located. My mom and I walk up to the front desk and asked where the Wells Fargo is. The manager points at the "Wells Fargo" ATM. I could not cash my check at an ATM, and there was not another Wells Fargo for at least an hour and it was already 4:13pm. I was upset that I was going to Medford with no money in my account and we had been planning this for a week. My mom said, hurry let's get back on the road and try to make it in time. The next city with a Wells Fargo in it is Ashland Oregon. My mom googled directions and were off. As my mom navigates me through this adorable city, I am getting very nervous. She gently reminds me that it will all work out. As we get closer to the bank I am feeling a push to go faster. We pull up to the Wells Fargo and run inside to get in line. Once I am in front of the teller I hand her my check and tell her I would like to cash part and deposit the rest into my account. She tells me that she can not cash any of it and she can deposit it and it will be ready in 2 days. This is not an option for me. Once again I look at my mom, he says get in the car we will google the next bank, it is almost 5:00pm. I am also reminded the third times a charm!
My mom googles the next Wells Fargo, it is in Medford 11 miles away. I drove like a maniac to get there, but when we arrived it was after 5. We pull up to the Wells Fargo and the parking lot is empty, it is 5:15. I am upset that I am in Medford with no cash. I tell my mom that I just want to check and see if they are still open.
I grab my check and wallet and go straight for the doors. I pull on the doors and they open!! I am so excited! I walk inside and wait for the next teller. I talk to her for a couple minutes before I ask her what she can do for me. I told her that I had been to two banks before coming to her to get this cashed. I told her that I drove 90 miles to get this taken care of and that I was looking to put a deposit down on a bed. She said she would override her system ad cash my check and deposit a portion for me. This was amazing news! After she assisted me I walked out to the car with a huge smile on my face. Now that I had money it was time to enjoy some quality time with my family.
My little brother Cody and my step dad Dennis wanted to go to the movies. My mother goggled the movies they were .02 miles away. Once I drove into the parking lot I saw an Ashley furniture store straight ahead. That's where my bed set was!! After dropping the boys off, my mom and I headed straight for Ashley furniture. I walk inside and b-lined it for my bed set. I had got a couple quotes, all of them were close to 2,000. I went in with the power and intention that I would get it for half of that. Let's just say I got s really good deal. I got a upfront couple hundred dollars off, plus 15% for the fourth of July holiday and since I was in Oregon I paid no tax! My total amount was exactly what I had put out there. I put my 10% deposit down on the bed and did the happy dance with my mommy!! I was so excited!! Overall I saved about $1,500.00 on my bed. I put out there what bed I wanted and for what price the universe directed to to it and I got exactly what I wanted!!
I am learning the power of clear intentions and the law of attraction. It is an amazing feeling! We are powerful creators!! When I put out a clear intention of what I am calling fourth in my space and I surrender to the powers to be, Destiny/fate/the universe and serendipity take control of the situation and honor us. We are amazing and powerful creators!! I will have my bed set with in the next month!
After that I get to move on to a couch, tv, kitchen table and all the other fun things I get to put in my house! I am going to have about 50 happy boxes :))
Lets see what the universe and I can bring tomorrow :)
xoxo
Jules
Friday, July 8, 2011
Second time on the Fourth (4th of July blog post)
One year ago today I was on a fishing Vessel in Homer Alaska. After a hard days work and some bad storms we pulled into the dock. It was the fourth of July and the other deck hands were going to drink and party at the Salty Dog. (A famous Saloon in Homer Alaska). Because my grandfather knew exactly what was going on he sentenced me to death and told me I could not leave the harbor, boat or dock. This killed me because the Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays. I am not a "bad kid" but my grandpa is a hard ass and cares about me. So I figured if I couldn't do anything too crazy, I would call my family and friends while I had phone service and wish them a happy Fourth and catch up on life. I called my mom and got passed around to the whole family, I called my best friends and caught up on life. After that was all done I called my ex. I wanted to wish him a happy Fourth and see how he was doing and thank him for his service. lets just say that conversation left me crying on the dock.
After about 5 minutes of crying a sweet young man passed me, turned around, sat down by me and put his arm around me. Once I got done crying enough that I could see I realized a complete stranger was holding me as I was crying. I turned to see who was hugging me. It was the kid from a few boat slots down. He said, I may not know what your going through, but have a beer and lets go watch the fireworks.. I looked at him and said I don't drink beer and im grounded to the harbor. He looked at me and said give me 5 minutes.
I went in the boat and fixed my make up, My grandpa asked where I was going, I told him I was going to watch fireworks with a friend. He about lost his mind, I told him I was not leaving the harbor and that I needed this, he saw the make up running all the way down my neck and gave in. Robert came up to my boat and said ready? Don't bring your phone or anything that can get ruined by water... I said.. ok.. do I need a life jacket jokingly? He replied with.. "maybe", oh man I was in for some trouble.
Robert was taking me to watch the fireworks in his 15 foot aluminum boat. As we left the harbor and went to the shore of the beach we talked about life, where we have been and where we are going. Robert helped take my mind off what was going on in my life for a couple hours. For that and being so sweet to me during that summer I am very thankful. Thank you Robert for being so kind and caring!
This Fourth of July I spent working my little but off. My mom txt me and asked me what my plans were. I told her I would like to go to the fireworks with the family and maybe some friends. She told me she had talked to Robert, a family friend who works with my step dad. My mom told me to invite Robert, his dad was out of town and maybe he would like to join us. I txt Robert and asked him to come over for dinner and fireworks. When I got home I passed out for and hour then got ready for the fireworks. Robert and I went out with my little Brother Paul to find a great spot at the resort to spread our blankets. My mom and the rest of my family showed up and we all enjoyed the huge firework show together. It was a very nice Fourth of July.
Once I got home and layed down, I realized all the coincidences from last Fourth of July. This was hard for me, for a second there I was thinking I was back in the same spot. I had to remind myself to calm down and count to 100. Once I calmed down I acknowledged all of the similarities as well as evaluated the differences I felt much better. Yes, for the past two Fourth of July(s) I have been in the process of a break up as well as spending the day with a "Robert". On the other hand, I have learned so much about life and myself since then. I am very proud of myself and I am grateful to all of those who have assisted me. Thank you very much for your love and support.
Sometimes we have to remind ourselves to breath :)
I love you all! Hope you had a great fourth of July!
xoxo
Jules
Thursday, July 7, 2011
My list (July 3rd blog post)
Tonight I wanted to share my "list". A Friend asked me other day what I am looking for in a life partner. I jokingly said, Tall, dark and handsome. She didn't think that was very amusing. I was asked to go home and write my list. So I did it and here it is.
Obviously I am looking for a tall dark and handsome, but looks are not everything. I am searching for my life partner, to be put simply.
I thought about all the things I want in my life, I thought how I would want that special someone in my life. Here is what I came up with.
The first thing that came to my mind was a connection.
I am not only talking about and intimate connection but a heart and soul connection. I would like us to be able to know what the other is feeling/thinking, we will be open and communicate in many ways.
One of the next things that crossed my mind was having children. I want to have that perfect man that will be the most amazing husband and father. I want to share the joys of being a parent, crazy pregnancy cravings, first loose tooth, dance recitals and high school graduations with that perfect man. I am crazy baby hungry right now.. again.. but I realize that I want to wait and have my child(ren) with the one I want to spend my life with. Not saying that single parents are not amazing because they are!! My mom was a single parent.. she did a fabulous job with 5 kids! I believe that starting a family is sacred. You are bringing a new life into this world and that is amazing! I want to be able to give my child the best possible so I will wait a couple years. :)
I really am aching to have someone who will put me first. I have had a big lack of that, now it is time to change. I will never again put up with that madness of being put behind everyone else. I want to have what I say have a big impression on the situation. Not saying I want to control it, but I would like to have some input. I want to have a family that loves me and welcomes me like I would love and welcome them. This was a big jump for me. I deserve the best, I deserve to have a man in my life who puts me first and sticks up for me. If you want me in your life you will treat me with the highest respect and I will treat you with the same. A relationship is a very unique treasure and you should do everything you can to protect and keep it.
I want someone who is set in who they are and what they want in life. I am looking for someone who has immense drive in life and know exactly where they are going. I thrive off of personal power, if you want to be in my life you have to have that drive. I know where I am going, yes I have my speed bumps along the way but I keep going. :)
Along with all of that I want someone who has immense compassion for others, love, respect, gratitude, inner peace and wisdom.
I don't believe I will be walking up to everyman in this world and say.. " Sorry you don't have enough love or compassion for me.. goodbye". Haha I believe my perfect man will have all of that and more. I am excited to have him in my life <3
A girl can dream right? :)
Until tomorrow
Jules
Obviously I am looking for a tall dark and handsome, but looks are not everything. I am searching for my life partner, to be put simply.
I thought about all the things I want in my life, I thought how I would want that special someone in my life. Here is what I came up with.
The first thing that came to my mind was a connection.
I am not only talking about and intimate connection but a heart and soul connection. I would like us to be able to know what the other is feeling/thinking, we will be open and communicate in many ways.
One of the next things that crossed my mind was having children. I want to have that perfect man that will be the most amazing husband and father. I want to share the joys of being a parent, crazy pregnancy cravings, first loose tooth, dance recitals and high school graduations with that perfect man. I am crazy baby hungry right now.. again.. but I realize that I want to wait and have my child(ren) with the one I want to spend my life with. Not saying that single parents are not amazing because they are!! My mom was a single parent.. she did a fabulous job with 5 kids! I believe that starting a family is sacred. You are bringing a new life into this world and that is amazing! I want to be able to give my child the best possible so I will wait a couple years. :)
I really am aching to have someone who will put me first. I have had a big lack of that, now it is time to change. I will never again put up with that madness of being put behind everyone else. I want to have what I say have a big impression on the situation. Not saying I want to control it, but I would like to have some input. I want to have a family that loves me and welcomes me like I would love and welcome them. This was a big jump for me. I deserve the best, I deserve to have a man in my life who puts me first and sticks up for me. If you want me in your life you will treat me with the highest respect and I will treat you with the same. A relationship is a very unique treasure and you should do everything you can to protect and keep it.
I want someone who is set in who they are and what they want in life. I am looking for someone who has immense drive in life and know exactly where they are going. I thrive off of personal power, if you want to be in my life you have to have that drive. I know where I am going, yes I have my speed bumps along the way but I keep going. :)
Along with all of that I want someone who has immense compassion for others, love, respect, gratitude, inner peace and wisdom.
I don't believe I will be walking up to everyman in this world and say.. " Sorry you don't have enough love or compassion for me.. goodbye". Haha I believe my perfect man will have all of that and more. I am excited to have him in my life <3
A girl can dream right? :)
Until tomorrow
Jules
Im not lucky, Im blessed (July 2nd blog post)
"May there always be angels to watch over you,
to guide you each step of the way,
to guide you and keep you safe from all harm"
Sleepsong, Secret Garden
I am learning, I am at peace and I am strong. The last couple weeks I have been pushing myself through what felt like hell. I had my moments of feeling anything but strong, looking back I realize I was strong and I am strong. My strength will support me in this jump. I would like to share a part of my soul and heart with you all tonight.
Through out this split I have learned so much about myself, life, true friends and love to name a few. In my heart I love Brandon very much, he is an amazing being. Right now I am focusing on my life and where I want to go. Everyday the pain and hurt slips more away. I want to remember that part of my life as a beautiful relationship and valuable life lesson. I have learned so much being with Brandon and moving out and finding my own personality.
Recently I have opened my eyes and accepted what I want in a relationship and what I don't want. I now realize this is my life and I can make it however I choose. I am choosing happiness, love, friendship and peace. I am here to touch many lives as well as make this world a happier place to be. I am not exactly clear on what my "big way" to do it is, I realize everyday I can make a difference. I frequently find myself, leaving sweet notes, donating time and money, assisting the veterans here in town as well as the simple opening door and helping load groceries. I believe life is about happiness and giving to others. When I give unconditionally to others that comes back to me in buckets.
I am working hard physically mentally and emotionally on reaching my goals. I apologize for not posting my blogs every night. I have been working 14+ hour days and attempting to sleep and unpack. Thanks to my mom I have clean clothes, 10+ unpacked boxes as well as being fed everyday. She is the best! Going through this opened my life to how blessed I really am, how many people love and care for me and what I want in life. Instead of focusing on the past and what I didn't/don't want, I focus on everything I deserve and how I am going to create it.
I am in the perfect place right now physically and emotionally, even tho I sometimes feel I am going to die in this small town. Ha ha. I realize by being here I have family close and a job. With these and my tools I am building my life how I want it. I am so excited to get all my things together and organized. I am on a beautiful path and I am loving my life!
I love you!!
Good night
Jules
xoxo
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Deeply Knowing (July 1st blog post)
I know what I know, now it is time to voice it and trust it. It's time to free fall..
Once again. In my heart I know how much I love him. I also know that I want him in my life however it works for both of us. I feel that I get to voice that, on the other hand I am wanting to shield my heart from anymore rejection. The pain I felt was horrible and very tough for me to break through, but I did it. The man I love and loved couldn't give what I deserved in our relationship, I also could not fully give him what he deserved. For me, this was heart breaking.
In my heart, I had found the one person I want/ed to spend my life with. Now I am stuck between to worlds. One, living without him and feeling like this is very wrong. Or two having him in my life however it works. I realize I am no longer afraid of saying what I feel. My blog is a very safe place for me to share my mind, it has helped me over come being afraid to talk. The way I see it is... I am going to tell you what's on my mind and someones opinion won't change how I feel or think anymore. That is a very beautiful thing. Throughout this break up I have found who I am. I love who I am. I have my beautiful mother to thank for that. This quote is hung around our house in several places.
"In a world where you can be anything, be YOURSELF.
I love this, it is very true. I am done with feeling like I can't be myself around anyone. If they don't like it then it's their loss. We can't hold our selves back anymore based on other peoples judgements. I realize that I am putting a lot of emotions on the line right now. I am praying and asking that they be respected. I made that leap of faith and did what I felt was best, that is great for me!
Until tomorrow
Jules
Once again. In my heart I know how much I love him. I also know that I want him in my life however it works for both of us. I feel that I get to voice that, on the other hand I am wanting to shield my heart from anymore rejection. The pain I felt was horrible and very tough for me to break through, but I did it. The man I love and loved couldn't give what I deserved in our relationship, I also could not fully give him what he deserved. For me, this was heart breaking.
In my heart, I had found the one person I want/ed to spend my life with. Now I am stuck between to worlds. One, living without him and feeling like this is very wrong. Or two having him in my life however it works. I realize I am no longer afraid of saying what I feel. My blog is a very safe place for me to share my mind, it has helped me over come being afraid to talk. The way I see it is... I am going to tell you what's on my mind and someones opinion won't change how I feel or think anymore. That is a very beautiful thing. Throughout this break up I have found who I am. I love who I am. I have my beautiful mother to thank for that. This quote is hung around our house in several places.
"In a world where you can be anything, be YOURSELF.
I love this, it is very true. I am done with feeling like I can't be myself around anyone. If they don't like it then it's their loss. We can't hold our selves back anymore based on other peoples judgements. I realize that I am putting a lot of emotions on the line right now. I am praying and asking that they be respected. I made that leap of faith and did what I felt was best, that is great for me!
Until tomorrow
Jules
Sunday, July 3, 2011
What I am looking for (June 30th blog post)
What I am looking for
I am constantly thinking about what I am looking for in a relationship. So far this is what I have come up with.
I am looking for someone who wants to be with me because they love me.
I am looking for the perfect partner that will support me in everything I do.
I am looking for someone who adores me and who I can adore.
I deserve to be with someone who always puts me first and loves spending time with me.
I believe that the perfect relationship is one with trust, kindness, love, support and friendship. I am going to find that perfect life partner that will be by my side 1000%. I am looking for a life partner and friend. This quote explains what I am feeling.
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction."
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~
Right now I don't want the typical relationship of dating for a
couple years, getting engaged then getting married. I have been doing that for the past two and a half years. I am open to having a slow paced relationship for now. Later down the road I would like a full on relationship/commitment. When I am in my next relationship, I want to take it very slowly. Rushing into things can make life complicated, even if you love that person.
Right now I am struggling between what I am feeling/knowing and wanting. I am fully aware of what I want and I am fully aware of what is
going on. The only way to get what I want is to go for it. I know the power of affirmation is amazing so I am going to start there. Next is open communication, after that we will see where I go.
I know what I know, if only I could explain what I know. I will meditate about this tonight and put it into words tomorrow.
I love you.
Julie <3
I am constantly thinking about what I am looking for in a relationship. So far this is what I have come up with.
I am looking for someone who wants to be with me because they love me.
I am looking for the perfect partner that will support me in everything I do.
I am looking for someone who adores me and who I can adore.
I deserve to be with someone who always puts me first and loves spending time with me.
I believe that the perfect relationship is one with trust, kindness, love, support and friendship. I am going to find that perfect life partner that will be by my side 1000%. I am looking for a life partner and friend. This quote explains what I am feeling.
"Love does not consist in gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction."
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery ~
Right now I don't want the typical relationship of dating for a
couple years, getting engaged then getting married. I have been doing that for the past two and a half years. I am open to having a slow paced relationship for now. Later down the road I would like a full on relationship/commitment. When I am in my next relationship, I want to take it very slowly. Rushing into things can make life complicated, even if you love that person.
Right now I am struggling between what I am feeling/knowing and wanting. I am fully aware of what I want and I am fully aware of what is
going on. The only way to get what I want is to go for it. I know the power of affirmation is amazing so I am going to start there. Next is open communication, after that we will see where I go.
I know what I know, if only I could explain what I know. I will meditate about this tonight and put it into words tomorrow.
I love you.
Julie <3
Friday, July 1, 2011
Compassion (June 29th blog post)
Compassion
The past couple weeks of my life have been full of change. Through all this transition I keep reminding myself to have compassion for myself and others. I am doing my best to love and support myself and him as well. I know it is "not my job" to make sure he is ok, bottom line is I still care. He is a big part of my life and I will always love him.
I reach out and offer my hand because I care. I hear from a lot of people that I just need to cut the tie and move on. I don't feel like that is the case. I understand keeping my ground and respecting me, the bottom line is I care for him and I always will. I have a feeling he will always be in my life.
I believe that compassion is fully and truly caring for someone. I believe that any kind of true relationship should always have compassion. I will always care about him and love him.
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." ~Dalai Lama
I think having compassion and being kind to everyone is true happiness. Giving the best of yourself constantly
brings out the best in others around you. I came here to find happiness and I am finding happiness everyday. I catch myself smiling at children playing, stopping to smell the roses and driving just because I enjoy it. I am building my life around being happy. It is an amazing foundation.
Until tomorrow <3
Have a great day!
Love Julie
The past couple weeks of my life have been full of change. Through all this transition I keep reminding myself to have compassion for myself and others. I am doing my best to love and support myself and him as well. I know it is "not my job" to make sure he is ok, bottom line is I still care. He is a big part of my life and I will always love him.
I reach out and offer my hand because I care. I hear from a lot of people that I just need to cut the tie and move on. I don't feel like that is the case. I understand keeping my ground and respecting me, the bottom line is I care for him and I always will. I have a feeling he will always be in my life.
I believe that compassion is fully and truly caring for someone. I believe that any kind of true relationship should always have compassion. I will always care about him and love him.
"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." ~Dalai Lama
I think having compassion and being kind to everyone is true happiness. Giving the best of yourself constantly
brings out the best in others around you. I came here to find happiness and I am finding happiness everyday. I catch myself smiling at children playing, stopping to smell the roses and driving just because I enjoy it. I am building my life around being happy. It is an amazing foundation.
Until tomorrow <3
Have a great day!
Love Julie
Happy boxes :) (June 28th blog post)
Happy boxes :)
Last night I went shopping with my mom. As I walked thought the store I felt overwhelmed with all "things" I need to buy to "get up and running again". I feel like I am restarting for the 6th time, my mom reassured me to take baby steps and only get things that I absolutely loved. I remember a couple months back I saw these towels that I fell in love with. I walked back to the bathroom section and there they were!! I was so excited that I grabbed enough for four sets. When I was done with the towels I moved on to the kitchen supplies. I made a list of all the things I wanted such as a coffee machine a double toaster and waffle marker. Once I was done I found a cup set that I really liked, so I put two in my cart.
The reason I went shopping was to buy huge storage bins with lids so I can organize my life and pack up what I am not using. I decided that every paycheck I get I am going to take a couple hundred dollars and start buying what I want for my next home. Once I have bought what I want I am packing them into these Tupperware containers. I am calling them my "happy boxes". Right now I have a lot of kitchen supplies and bathroom supplies that I am going to pack up. On every box it will read "bathroom happy box" towels, shower curtain and candles inside. :)
I am very excited to start filling up my happy boxes, I am also excited for when I can unpack them. My goal in the next 3 months is to have 15 happy boxes packed and ready to go, so when I do move I will have what I deserve to be comfortable in my new home. I am so excited!! It feels like it is my first Christmas! It is a beautiful feeling to be self-efficient and be able to take care of myself!!! YAHOO!!! This is a step in the right direction! I have to thank my mother in and sister for sticking by my side and helping and pushing me along the way... especially when I am having a break down in the middle of the store. haha
I love you both very much! I love my family and my friends very much! I love you, thank you for your support on this beautiful journey of mine!!
Xoxo
Until tomorrow!
MUAH!
Jules
Honoring the sunset and looking towards the sunrise (June 27th post)
It's crazy to think 2 months and 2 days ago I was engaged, 1 month and 1 day ago we broke up. It looks like the universe has different plans for both of us. I will always love Brandon, he is a angel in my life. I will honor the sunset and look to the sunrise. <3
I have been thinking about all the things I learned about myself while being with him. I thought about all the things he has taught me. I know that he was in my life for many reasons. I also know I was in his for the same.
Being single has a very new and exciting perspective in life. I am not wanting or seeking out a relationship right now. I just want to be me and have fun. I also realize that there is a lot of hurt in my heart from that relationship and that I am healing beautifully.
Ever since I was a little girl I dreamt about the day I would get married. I thought about my dress and the perfect flowers. As I got older I dreamt about the day I would get engaged and the perfect ways I might get engaged. On the beach during sunset, in a different country after a beautiful day or in front of our family with dozens of roses. Oh yes believe me it was perfect in my head.
At this point in my life I am dreaming about the perfect man. I now know exactly what I want. I am looking for someone who will stick by my side through it all. I am looking for the kind caring and compassionate man who will help a stranger just to help. I am looking for that one person to spend my life with and possibly have children.Yes I know I will always go for the tall dark and handsome with amazing eyes and strong arms. I am also looking for that person that will never walk away. I am looking for someone who will always put me first, as I put him first.
Currently I am not sure If I ever want to get married. I dreamt it would be perfect, thank Cinderella and Ariel for that. As a child I watched what I believed was true love. Disney never went over breaking up with an amazing person and how to get over heart break. I'm sure if they did I would have the steps memorized front to back! I know that marriage is a beautiful thing as well as having a life partner. I am looking for someone who just wants to live life and enjoy it. If we get married great! If not I am sure it is still as beautiful.
Right now my heart is still sore. I truly thought I had it all, I thought is was perfect. Now I realize I did have it all, It was all perfect because with out that in my life I wouldn't have been able to really truly find myself. I am very thankful for him. He is a beautiful amazing teacher and partner in that part of my life. We may never be together again and I am ok with that. He will always have a special place in my heart! I love him very much and I always will.
Our living circumstances were very rough to handle. I am not saying that is the only reason we broke up, but it was a big part. When you can not really "live" in your "own house" then for me it's an issue. If my possessions can "not" be safe in "my house" that is also an issue. Women especially need a home to be theirs that they can take care of and make their own. It's hard to have a relationship and be together when there are constantly people in your space.
This is what I learned out of that, you can not fully work on a relationship when your living situations are unfavorable. You can not work on a relationship when you don't communicate with each other. And it will never work if you have other girls getting in the middle of everything.
People and couples need their alone time and private space. Every one needs their sanctuary and escape from the world. I am very grateful that I am working on having my own space right now. Once the kids move out for the summer I will have Lindsay's room to call my own for however long. :) I am going to have my bed in there along with anything else I want. I am very excited to buy all my own stuff and make my life comfortable.
I am looking to loose my self in order to find myself. Everyday I see more of Julie shining through! I love it!!
 |
Honoring the sunset and looking toward the sunrise Brandon and Julie Hermosa Beach CA 2011 |
Until tomorrow :)
I love you all!!
Xoxo
Jules
Dont worry be happy :) (June 26th blog post)
I believe that happiness is a choice, just like choosing what to eat for breakfast. Granted it may not always be as simple as choosing between a chocolate muffin or fruit, but it is still a choice. If you wake up and think, its going to be a bad day, what happens? Do you have a bad day? Most likely you do because you create it. I have noticed through my break up I sometimes feel like I shouldn't be happy. I feel like I should be sad and in a "mourning" like state through this time. I now realize that even if I am having a rough time I get to do my best to be happy. "A minute wasted on sadness is a minute of happiness you will never get back." I honor where I am at right now. I know that by making a conscious effort to be happy everyday it will come easier.
Here is an amazing quote on happiness.
"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."
Happiness is something you have to really want and strive for. It is something that you have to trust in when you are having a rough time. Happiness is a tool to get you from point A to point B with more ease. I no longer feel like I have to "punish" myself for breaking up with an amazing person. I am on a journey to find my own happiness day by day. I will find my own happiness and I will become a stronger person because of it. Everyone deserves happiness, the real dividing line is.. will you choose to be happy? Will you choose it when it is the harder choice? When you choose to be happy in a tough situation, you have mastered the skill of choosing to be happy in the roughest of situations.
Go listen to Don't worry, be happy
Until Tomorrow.
Be Happy :)
Baby your a firework!! (June 25th post)
Music has always been something I turn to for peace, energy and happiness. It helps me calm down and think clearly even when it is blasting. Music soothes my soul and helps me transition.
While living down here I bought an app on my I-phone that let's me listen to any radio station in the world. Best $1.00 I have ever spent, since Mount Shasta dost have a radio station I am interested in. While going through this break up I have found a new kind of music to love. It was hard for me at first simply because every song I turned on was about loosing their love or breaking up.
I went from listening to Lady Gaga, Akon and Pitbull to Katy Perry, Incubus and The Fray. While on this journey one song has always stuck out and rang so true for me. That song is Firework by Katy Perry. I am sure you have heard this song, but have you watched the music video? It is absolutely amazing! If you haven't go watch it now. 
Every time I feel down or I am struggling with the last brick to break down my wall I blast this song. After I play it, I press repeat and end up singing along. This song has so much meaning and power in it, I love it!! On average I listen to that song probably 20 times a week, that's not including the many repeats.
Every time I feel down or I am struggling with the last brick to break down my wall I blast this song. After I play it, I press repeat and end up singing along. This song has so much meaning and power in it, I love it!! On average I listen to that song probably 20 times a week, that's not including the many repeats. Katy Perry is an amazing artist! She is one strong and beautiful woman! I look up to her and see a lot of myself in her. Everyday I get told I look like Katy Perry, best compliment ever btw!! Every moment I am finding my peace, every moment when I push my self harder I find more of myself. I feel like I am in the dark with a flashlight, every time I find a sparkle I pick it up and put it In my pocket. I'm finding little "jewels" everywhere I go. I am enjoying finding myself! I am a very unique person. The real promise is to never let myself go.
Until tomorrow
I am off to have a beautiful day, you have an amazing day also!
Xoxo Jewels
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Working on "working" it out (June 24th blog post)
Today I am going to share the crazy events of my day.
Recently I had expressed my concern about my job to a friend. He told me to stay out of all the drama, I took his advice. Last night while I was at work, I was approached by a guy that wanted to talk to me. He was asking very blunt questions about what was going on in the work place. I responded to every question by saying, I do not discuss work with anyone other then my boss. After that he said, "you passed".
I look at him with a confused look. He said, Hi I am _____. I am one of the owners, I just came from LA to visit. Wow I thought. After that he said, your Julie right? I said yes. He said I have heard so many wonderful things about you, and our clients rave about you!
Next he said, now we both know that you won't be living in mount Shasta forever. I said yes I know with a smile on my face. He looked at me and said, want to work in LA? You can be on of my event planners! I said I would love to, that would be such a fun job! Who wouldnt want to throw parties, dress up and go to work and meet some movie stars? :)
My bosses have a company out of LA that host and plan some of the big Hollywood parties such as Paris Hilton's big party that's coming up, Dancing with the Stars catering and the some Playboy Bunny Mansion arrangements. If this wasn't the perfect job for me then working at 1 of their 13 night clubs in Hollywood and LA, or any of their hotels would be!
I am so excited that I can have this job as soon as I am ready. It looks like I am going back to LA after all! I knew that moving down here that I would be back there soon. Right now I get to focus on a couple of my goals. Then when I am done here I am off to LA! Yahoo!
My next blog will be up late tonight after work.
Enjoy your day!
xoxo
Jules
Recently I had expressed my concern about my job to a friend. He told me to stay out of all the drama, I took his advice. Last night while I was at work, I was approached by a guy that wanted to talk to me. He was asking very blunt questions about what was going on in the work place. I responded to every question by saying, I do not discuss work with anyone other then my boss. After that he said, "you passed".
I look at him with a confused look. He said, Hi I am _____. I am one of the owners, I just came from LA to visit. Wow I thought. After that he said, your Julie right? I said yes. He said I have heard so many wonderful things about you, and our clients rave about you!
Next he said, now we both know that you won't be living in mount Shasta forever. I said yes I know with a smile on my face. He looked at me and said, want to work in LA? You can be on of my event planners! I said I would love to, that would be such a fun job! Who wouldnt want to throw parties, dress up and go to work and meet some movie stars? :)
My bosses have a company out of LA that host and plan some of the big Hollywood parties such as Paris Hilton's big party that's coming up, Dancing with the Stars catering and the some Playboy Bunny Mansion arrangements. If this wasn't the perfect job for me then working at 1 of their 13 night clubs in Hollywood and LA, or any of their hotels would be!
I am so excited that I can have this job as soon as I am ready. It looks like I am going back to LA after all! I knew that moving down here that I would be back there soon. Right now I get to focus on a couple of my goals. Then when I am done here I am off to LA! Yahoo!
My next blog will be up late tonight after work.
Enjoy your day!
xoxo
Jules
Friendship (June 23rd blog post)
In the past week I have had to hold on to my under ware. with a firm grip.
I have been on a crazy roller coaster! Between getting called into work, working crazy hours sleeping and attempting to unpack my car... My life and blog have gone to crap. So I am re evaluating my goals. Right now I am writing everyday, the only issue is, the past couple of nights and even days I am not home in time to post them, or I fall asleep while typing. Oh yes that happened, I fell asleep at the computer desk eating peanut butter m&ms. I faintly remember getting up and asking my step dad to rub my feet. I woke up on the foot of his bed curled up in a ball. Yes, my life has been a little crazy lately... haha!
Anyways, here is my blog for June 23rd. I hope you enjoy it!!
What is a best friend? Someone you can always talk to and confide in? Someone who will love and support you in whatever you may do? I realize that if this is even a tiny sliver of what best friends are, I have a handful of them.
For example, In the last couple days my best friends have called and checked up on me. Sent me pictures that make my heart melt. Lovingly but sternly guided me through the dark. Told me to snap out of it, as well as told me I'm doing great.
I don't want to imagine a life with out these amazing people. They are by my side no matter what. I know that I am working through a lot right now, I also know I wouldn't have been able to get where I am as quickly as I am without these amazing people! If you are reading this, YOU ARE ONE OF THEM. I just wanted to say thank you so much for all you have done for me. Even if it is a simple wall post on Face book, supporting my blog or a cute txt message. It really means a lot to me. I love and appreciate you! Thank you for everything you have done for me! I know I will get to a healthier time in my life very soon. I would like to say Thank you and share my gratitude even more! I love you, thank you!
"This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, love to complete your life" -Unknown
Thank you so much for all your support. I really appreciate and love you!
Xoxo
Talk to you soon.
Jules
I have been on a crazy roller coaster! Between getting called into work, working crazy hours sleeping and attempting to unpack my car... My life and blog have gone to crap. So I am re evaluating my goals. Right now I am writing everyday, the only issue is, the past couple of nights and even days I am not home in time to post them, or I fall asleep while typing. Oh yes that happened, I fell asleep at the computer desk eating peanut butter m&ms. I faintly remember getting up and asking my step dad to rub my feet. I woke up on the foot of his bed curled up in a ball. Yes, my life has been a little crazy lately... haha!
Anyways, here is my blog for June 23rd. I hope you enjoy it!!
What is a best friend? Someone you can always talk to and confide in? Someone who will love and support you in whatever you may do? I realize that if this is even a tiny sliver of what best friends are, I have a handful of them.
For example, In the last couple days my best friends have called and checked up on me. Sent me pictures that make my heart melt. Lovingly but sternly guided me through the dark. Told me to snap out of it, as well as told me I'm doing great.
I don't want to imagine a life with out these amazing people. They are by my side no matter what. I know that I am working through a lot right now, I also know I wouldn't have been able to get where I am as quickly as I am without these amazing people! If you are reading this, YOU ARE ONE OF THEM. I just wanted to say thank you so much for all you have done for me. Even if it is a simple wall post on Face book, supporting my blog or a cute txt message. It really means a lot to me. I love and appreciate you! Thank you for everything you have done for me! I know I will get to a healthier time in my life very soon. I would like to say Thank you and share my gratitude even more! I love you, thank you!
"This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, love to complete your life" -Unknown
Thank you so much for all your support. I really appreciate and love you!
Xoxo
Talk to you soon.
Jules
Thursday, June 23, 2011
In a Dream like state (June 22nd blog post)
Last night I pulled over at a rest stop about half way.
As I was sitting there I cleared my head while I found a "kinda comfortable" position to sleep in. I layed awake for about an hour thinking then fell into a deep sleep.
Lately I have been having some really vivid dreams. I remember everything that happens as clear as day. In my dreams I see me smoothly and easily putting my life into place. I see my self in a beautiful home with everything In place, there are dishes in the cub board and a beautiful living room with my roses on the table. I remember as I walked farther into the house I see my bed, my dresser and my clothes. Next I trip over a puppy toy that was in the doorway. As I turn the corner I hear someone say Julie where is the _____ and I wake up.
I have had this dream night after night. I am starting to think it is a sign, or maybe someone or something is telling me it will all work out. You could even say I am dreaming my life into place, maybe I am. Maybe I am seeing what is in place.
The first thing I think about is, Who is asking me where my ____ is? I don't know what the _____ is. I wake up before the question is fully asked. I know it is a guy who is talking to me, I just am unclear on who it is. I do have a pretty good idea tho.
Next I think a puppy? I assume it is my puppy because its toy is in my room doorway. I have been having a hard time deciding if a puppy is for me. I am not a really big animal lover, don't get me wrong I like animals I just haven't really had a lot of them in my space. I was thinking about why I would want a puppy. I decided its because I want something to go home to and love and have it love me back. I want something to cuddle with and take care of. I think, as a women it is important to have something to take care of. I will not be having a baby anytime soon so I think I will get a puppy. :) There, that is a step in the right direction. I think I would be a good mommy.
Anothr thing I think about in my dream is this. Having all of my stuff in order and having a place that is my home. Compared to I'm just moving on though, or I am just here for a few months. Even if I am only there for a few months, all my boxes were unpacked. It was MY home. I think this is a constant reminder that everything is going to work out perfectly.
I feel that dreams do have meaning. You could say that I am literally dreaming that my life would be in order. I think I am seeing the end goal, or the results of my accomplishing my goals. I feel that the next couple of months will amazing for me. I know that my life will fall into place, other things I will have to put in place and that is beautiful.
Time to get back on the road. I am 5 hours away from home if I rush.
There is no reason to rush, I am going to take it slowly and enjoy my drive.
I am going to stop by and meet some amazing friends along my journey home.
Until tomorrow.
Love you all!
Jules
As I was sitting there I cleared my head while I found a "kinda comfortable" position to sleep in. I layed awake for about an hour thinking then fell into a deep sleep.
Lately I have been having some really vivid dreams. I remember everything that happens as clear as day. In my dreams I see me smoothly and easily putting my life into place. I see my self in a beautiful home with everything In place, there are dishes in the cub board and a beautiful living room with my roses on the table. I remember as I walked farther into the house I see my bed, my dresser and my clothes. Next I trip over a puppy toy that was in the doorway. As I turn the corner I hear someone say Julie where is the _____ and I wake up.
I have had this dream night after night. I am starting to think it is a sign, or maybe someone or something is telling me it will all work out. You could even say I am dreaming my life into place, maybe I am. Maybe I am seeing what is in place.
The first thing I think about is, Who is asking me where my ____ is? I don't know what the _____ is. I wake up before the question is fully asked. I know it is a guy who is talking to me, I just am unclear on who it is. I do have a pretty good idea tho.
Next I think a puppy? I assume it is my puppy because its toy is in my room doorway. I have been having a hard time deciding if a puppy is for me. I am not a really big animal lover, don't get me wrong I like animals I just haven't really had a lot of them in my space. I was thinking about why I would want a puppy. I decided its because I want something to go home to and love and have it love me back. I want something to cuddle with and take care of. I think, as a women it is important to have something to take care of. I will not be having a baby anytime soon so I think I will get a puppy. :) There, that is a step in the right direction. I think I would be a good mommy.
Anothr thing I think about in my dream is this. Having all of my stuff in order and having a place that is my home. Compared to I'm just moving on though, or I am just here for a few months. Even if I am only there for a few months, all my boxes were unpacked. It was MY home. I think this is a constant reminder that everything is going to work out perfectly.
I feel that dreams do have meaning. You could say that I am literally dreaming that my life would be in order. I think I am seeing the end goal, or the results of my accomplishing my goals. I feel that the next couple of months will amazing for me. I know that my life will fall into place, other things I will have to put in place and that is beautiful.
Time to get back on the road. I am 5 hours away from home if I rush.
There is no reason to rush, I am going to take it slowly and enjoy my drive.
I am going to stop by and meet some amazing friends along my journey home.
Until tomorrow.
Love you all!
Jules
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