Deeply Knowing (July 1st blog post)

I know what I know, now it is time to voice it and trust it. It's time to free fall..
Once again. In my heart I know how much I love him. I also know that I want him in my life however it works for both of us. I feel that I get to voice that, on the other hand I am wanting to shield my heart from anymore rejection. The pain I felt was horrible and very tough for me to break through, but I did it. The man I love and loved couldn't give what I deserved in our relationship, I also could not fully give him what he deserved. For me, this was heart breaking.

In my heart, I had found the one person I want/ed to spend my life with. Now I am stuck between to worlds. One, living without him and feeling like this is very wrong. Or two having him in my life however it works. I realize I am no longer afraid of saying what I feel. My blog is a very safe place for me to share my mind, it has helped me over come being afraid to talk. The way I see it is... I am going to tell you what's on my mind and someones opinion won't change how I feel or think anymore. That is a very beautiful thing. Throughout this break up I have found who I am. I love who I am. I have my beautiful mother to thank for that. This quote is hung around our house in several places.
"In a world where you can be anything, be YOURSELF.

I love this, it is very true. I am done with feeling like I can't be myself around anyone. If they don't like it then it's their loss. We can't hold our selves back anymore based on other peoples judgements. I realize that I am putting a lot of emotions on the line right now. I am praying and asking that they be respected. I made that leap of faith and did what I felt was best, that is great for me!
Until tomorrow
Jules