"May there always be angels to watch over you,
to guide you each step of the way,
to guide you and keep you safe from all harm"
Sleepsong, Secret Garden
I am learning, I am at peace and I am strong. The last couple weeks I have been pushing myself through what felt like hell. I had my moments of feeling anything but strong, looking back I realize I was strong and I am strong. My strength will support me in this jump. I would like to share a part of my soul and heart with you all tonight.
Through out this split I have learned so much about myself, life, true friends and love to name a few. In my heart I love Brandon very much, he is an amazing being. Right now I am focusing on my life and where I want to go. Everyday the pain and hurt slips more away. I want to remember that part of my life as a beautiful relationship and valuable life lesson. I have learned so much being with Brandon and moving out and finding my own personality.
Recently I have opened my eyes and accepted what I want in a relationship and what I don't want. I now realize this is my life and I can make it however I choose. I am choosing happiness, love, friendship and peace. I am here to touch many lives as well as make this world a happier place to be. I am not exactly clear on what my "big way" to do it is, I realize everyday I can make a difference. I frequently find myself, leaving sweet notes, donating time and money, assisting the veterans here in town as well as the simple opening door and helping load groceries. I believe life is about happiness and giving to others. When I give unconditionally to others that comes back to me in buckets.
I am working hard physically mentally and emotionally on reaching my goals. I apologize for not posting my blogs every night. I have been working 14+ hour days and attempting to sleep and unpack. Thanks to my mom I have clean clothes, 10+ unpacked boxes as well as being fed everyday. She is the best! Going through this opened my life to how blessed I really am, how many people love and care for me and what I want in life. Instead of focusing on the past and what I didn't/don't want, I focus on everything I deserve and how I am going to create it.
I am in the perfect place right now physically and emotionally, even tho I sometimes feel I am going to die in this small town. Ha ha. I realize by being here I have family close and a job. With these and my tools I am building my life how I want it. I am so excited to get all my things together and organized. I am on a beautiful path and I am loving my life!
I love you!!
Good night
Jules
xoxo
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